It’s been a week and I haven’t spoken to either of them. It seems like it’s been forever since I’ve even seen them. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, but I don’t think I’m ready to choose anyone just yet. But I do know one thing…
I love them both. A lot.
“How am I supposed to choose?” I asked Kristi falling down on the couch.
“I don’t know, be patient, maybe there will be a sign”
“I’ve been patient” I whined, “It’s been a long time”
“Honey, do they both make you happy?”
“Who means more to you?”
“I’ve shared a lot with Kris, but with Max, we’ve had a lot of fun, and he’s been a really good listener, and he’s been there for me”
“Has Kris been there for you?”
“Who came to see you?”
“I don’t know Kristi!” I snapped, “I just know that I can’t break either of their hearts”
“Okay, I’m going to be honest, I’m Team Max”
I just sighed and looked up at her, “You’ve never met Kris…he’s sweet, caring, he goes out of his way for me, the way his hair falls in his face when he takes his helmet off, the way he wears his hats backwards all the time, how he bites his lip when he’s nervous, his little smirk when he makes a joke, the way he can make me laugh so easily after pissing me off…” my voice trailed off and Kristi just shook her head and stood up.
“You just figured it out sweetie…”
“Take your time, you should probably talk to Max first though…”
My head started spinning, but thinking about being with Kris again, actually got me excited. I did really miss him. Kris and I were meant for each other, we always were, no matter what got in our way…we always managed to find our way back.
The guys were getting back from a road trip tonight, so I thought talking to Max tonight would be perfect. I grabbed my phone to call him when it started ringing in my hand, it was him. How weird.
“Just wanted to see if you wanted to grab a coffee later”
“Sure…that sounds great”
“Alright, I’ll stop by in a couple hours”
I hung up the phone and immediately got sick to my stomach. I wasn’t used to hurting people like that, intentionally. I mean, I can’t have them both, one of them was going to be hurt, and in my opinion, I think Max would have gotten over it a lot easier then Kris would have.
I heard a knock on the door, so I took another quick look in the mirror and opened it. The fact that he was looking this good, was starting to make this a lot harder.
“Um, how are you?” I asked.
“I’m good, how are you?”
I shut the door behind me and started walking towards his car, “I’m good”
The rest of the walk to the car was silent. I felt the tension inside the car as we made it to the Starbucks. As I stepped out I felt like I could breathe again. He opened the door for me and I sat down at the corner table, and he bought the coffees.
“Okay…” he said sitting down, “Here’s the thing--”
“I’m choosing Kris” I blurted out. Nice going Julie, that was probably your worst move, ever.
I raised an eyebrow at him and cocked my head to the side, “You do?”
“The entire road trip something was eating away at me, then I saw Kris, and I have never seen the guy more miserable in my life. He misses you, and I’ve been trying to ignore it, but you two, you’ve been through too much”
I stared at him stunned, dumbfounded, in shock, whatever word you could think of, that was me, “But, you--I thought, what?”
“I do love you Julie, really, but you love Kris, and he loves you, more than I love you…”
“I’m sorry Max…”
“It’s okay” he chuckled, “I’ll get over it, you can’t always get what you want”
“You should go talk to him” he replied, “He’s been moping, and he hasn’t been producing anything in his game right now”
He just nodded, “Good luck”
I stood up and wrapped my arms around him. He squeezed me gently before letting me go, “Go”
“Thank you Max”
I pulled my phone from my pocket and texted him. Told him to stay at home, and that I would be there in a minute. He agreed and I practically ran to his place. I’ve never ran so hard in my life.
I knocked on the door, and stood there, sweaty, tired and breathless as he opened it, “Hi…”
“Jules” a small smirk spread across his face.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…it’s you” I said, “It’s always been you”
He had the same look on his face I did just minutes ago talking to Max. I just sighed placed my hands on his cheeks and looked up at him, “I’m sorry”
“No more sorries”
“I love you, I never stopped”
“Neither did I”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the apartment, I just giggled as he gently brushed his lips against mine. I just pulled away and wrapped my arms around him, something I haven’t felt in a long time.
“I want you to have something” he said.
He walked into the bedroom and quickly re-emerged holding something behind his back. I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips, “What is it?”
He gently took my hand in his and put the ring on with his other. The ring that marked our engagement not too long ago, “We don’t have to rush, but I’m marrying you, whether it’s in a day, six months or two years”
“Yes you are”
He just smiled and gently kissed me again. This was it. This is definitely what I wanted.
eleven - is it ever gonna be enough?
7 years ago