Chapter 14

*I got a decent amount of comments on the last chapter. I don't know if it was beacuse it's been a while since I posted, but I'll take 'em :) Please give me feedback on this chapter to it would mean alot, and it helps me improve so the next chapter can be even better :) I also have a couple new stories up. One is called "chances" and the other one is "be there". I really think you would like them. So go check 'em out. Thanks!*



We woke up around 7am, for a 10am flight back to Pittsburgh. I changed into a pair of dark ripped jeans, a white tank top and a grey knit cardigan. I threw my hair up into a ponytail and put on some light foundation and blush. I was not looking forward to seeing Kris.

*Kris’ POV*

She came out of the room and looked beautiful, as she always does. She didn’t even look at me as she slipped on a pair of shoes. I didn’t know what to do to make it up to her. I wanted to marry her, but maybe agreeing with the one person who’s opinion rarely mattered to her, was a mistake. I couldn’t just re-propose, because she would think I was doing it out of pity.

“I’ll be in the house” was all she said as picked up her bag and opened the door.
I just sighed as I watched her every move as she went towards the house and out of sight. I felt like an idiot right now, there had to be something I could do to make this right. Maybe if I wait a bit we can talk it out…

*Julie’s POV*

I walked into the house and sighed as I sat up on a bar stool at the island. I sighed loudly to get my mother's attention.

“Something wrong honey?” my mom asked as she was making eggs.
“We had a fight” I said grabbing an apple from the bowl.
“Was it a big one?”
I just showed her my hand, ringless.
“The engagement’s off?” she asked, I just saw my dad’s head shoot up.
“He agreed with what dad said, he made it sound like he didn’t want to even marry me” I said taking a bite.
“Well why would he agree with anything your father has to say?”
“Hey!” he exclaimed from the kitchen table.
“I know, that’s what I said!” I replied.
“I’m right here” he said again.
“Sorry dad”

I heard the door open and saw Kris come in, everyone went silent, until my mom broke it.

“Morning Kris sweetie” she said, “breakfast?”
“Not hungry” he simply replied, “can we talk?” he asked directing his attention to me. I just nodded and we moved to the living room.
I just stopped in the middle of the room and stared at him, “alright, talk”
“I feel awful for what I said last night”
“As you should”
“I just want to see if we can talk this out”
“Do you want to marry me or not Kris?” I asked.
“Of course I do. You know I love you”
“Then what is the point in waiting until we’re older”
“We’re not ready Julie. We’re already fighting over stupid things”
“I know…it’s already starting to drive us apart”

He just sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. I go crazy every time he does it.

“Remember when you proposed?” I asked him.
“I could never forget it”
“You said there was no point in waiting. You said you were ready”

He didn’t respond. He just looked down at the ground, trying to find the words to say. He looked back up at me, like he was ready to say something and then looked back down. I trapped him.

“I’m sorry” I whispered.
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything” he said quietly.
“Can we just go home?”
He just nodded and moved in for a hug. I didn’t budge and just wrapped my arms around him. I didn’t know what to think anymore.

We said our goodbyes to my parents and climbed into the car. It was a quiet ride to the airport, barely making a peep. We got to the airport and waited to board the flight for an hour, and again, not much was said…until we boarded the flight.

“Julie this is killing me” he said as we took our seats on the plane.
“It is really quiet” I sighed.
“Can we just work this out. Try this again…I love you too much to lose you”
“Alright” I simply said.
He reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring, I just stared at him and then back down at it.
“Not right now” I said quietly.
“Julie--”
“Kris, I don’t think we’re ready to be engaged”
He just nodded and put it back in his pocket, “whatever you want”
“Kris, just remember I love you…”
“I know”

We finally landed in Pittsburgh and I was relieved. I stepped out of the terminal into the airport, with Kris just behind me. We grabbed our bags and got our car that we left overnight. He drove us both home, and the ride was quiet.

We got to the apartment, grabbed our stuff and went upstairs. I sat on the couch and Kris just leaned against the wall. We wanted to talk, but I had no idea what to do.

“Kris, like you said on the plane, can we just be together? Without the pressure of being engaged. Maybe someday again, you‘ll propose, but after that fight, I see what my dad was afraid of”
“Ok” he sighed, “I guess it’s the best way to go”

I just stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest and he just wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and took in the moment.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily” he whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
“I would never” I smirked looking up at him, and he just pulled me into another tight hug.

Chapter 13

*I have 23 followers. There is no reason I shouldn't be getting plenty of comments on these stories. I don't care if they are two word comments, I just want feedback people. Any kind of feedback, please comment after you're finished reading, two seconds...i promise. I'm still stuck on this one, so enjoy*



Christmas and New Years passed as I finally got the money to get myself to Pittsburgh and stay with Kris. It actually took me longer than I had hoped, but everything was working out perfectly. It was January and the Penguins were on a big homestand, and they actually had a few days break, I got an idea.

“Kris?”
“Yah baby?” he said turning his attention to me.
“Since you have a few days, I think we should go meet my parents” I said bluntly.
“Really? Now?”
“Well, why not?” I said, “before your big road trip”
He didn’t respond, he was trying to avoid this.
“Why won’t you meet my parents?” I snapped, “I’ve met yours, not to mention most of your family, do this for me, please”
“Julie, you don’t want to bring me home to your parents”
“Why not? I still haven’t told them we’re even engaged yet, it’s the perfect time. I didn’t get to see them over Christmas”
“I have not been known to leave a great impression on parents” he sighed.
“Well there’s a first for everything” I replied sitting beside him, “My parents are going to love you, they are the most laid back people you will ever meet. You’re going to be fine” I put my hand on his cheek, “Just do this for me?”
He sighed, “Fine. But only would I do this for you”
I just smiled and kissed him, “Thank you Kris”

I was excited now. I couldn’t wait to show my parents the ring, tell them about the engagement, and show him off. It was perfect. I know my family is going to love him, how could anyone not love the guy?

I went to my room and immediately started packing. I already had a flight for tomorrow whether he was on it or not.

------------------------------------------------

We were up around 6am the next morning, the flight was at 9. I finished packing last minute things and I practically had to drag Kris out the door. He was not being very cooperative. It’s not a long flight and we’re coming back home tomorrow, and then he has a game the next night and they leave for a long road trip that night. Wait...now I’m starting to feel guilty. Great, I will be the reason for killing him.

We boarded the plane and I was still feeling awful. He could tell.

“Jules, you ok?”
“Not really” I sighed looking out the window, “I feel awful”
“Why?” he asked with concern.
“I didn’t think this over. I feel like I’m going to tire you out”
“Hey. Don’t worry about me” he said putting a hand on my cheek, “I’ll be fine, I’ll have some time to rest when we get back tomorrow”
“Are you sure? I feel bad for almost forcing you”
“Yes I’m sure. And the more I thought about it the more I realized I have to do this for you, and it’s not such a bad thing” he shrugged smiling that crooked smile.
I just let out a sigh of relief, “ok good, as long as I know you’re really ok with this”
“You worry too much” he said leaning back.
“I honestly don’t know where I get it from” I sighed.
He just laughed, “ah, it’s nothing”
“How is it that you can make me feel better so easily?”
“It’s a gift” he smirked.

The five and a half hour flight was quick and before I knew it we were in Montreal. We got a rental car and Kris drove the hour drive to my parents place. My mother almost jumped me when I came in the door.

“Hey mom” I laughed as she pulled back.
“This must be Kris” she asked as my dad gave me a hug.
“Yes. Mom, dad, this is Kris Letang” I smiled as they both shook his hand.
My mom’s eyes looked from Kris and down to my hand and saw the ring, “Sweetie? What’s this ring?” she said taking my hand.
“Oh, I may have forgot to mention that we’re engaged” I said biting my lip.
“That’s amazing!” she exclaimed taking me into another hug. I don’t think my dad was so impressed.
“Aren’t you a little young?” was all he said and he spoiled the mood immediately.
“Dad, don’t start” I sighed, “I’m 21 years old”
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.
“Fine” I sighed, “you ok?” I turned my eyes to Kris. He just reassured me with a nod as my dad took me into the kitchen.
“Don’t ruin this for me dad” I said the moment we were out of sight.
“Julie, you’re not ready to get married, especially to someone like him”
“Someone like him? What the hell does that mean?”
“Almost one third of the year he is back and forth, from city to city. He’s still young, and he’s a good looking guy that most girls would kill to have…”
“You think he’s going to cheat on me? Give him some credit dad! He’s not a freaking man whore, honestly” I snapped, “I trust him, doesn’t that count for something?”
“I just don’t want you to rush into this Jules, it’s a big step”
“I know how big it is dad, just support me on this. It feels right. I really love him.”
“I can see that” he said taking my face in his hands, “but between you and me, there is no one that will be good enough for you”
I just smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist, “thank you dad”
“I love you sweetie” he said quietly as he pulled back, “we better get back in there, leaving him with your mother might not have been a smart move”

Everything was going good. My dad was starting to warm up to him and my mom adored him from the moment we walked in the door. I still didn’t know how he felt. I’m about to find out.

“So?” I asked as we walked towards the pool house we were staying in for the night.
“I think that went well” he replied, “you were right about them, but I don’t know if your dad was too fond of me”
“He’s warming up” I smiled, “he’ll love you by this time tomorrow”
He just wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gently squeezed me, “you really think we can do this?”
“What? Marriage?” I asked, “Definitely, I don’t think you give us enough credit” I said nudging him.
He just smiled, “I suppose”
“What?”
“Do you think you’re dad was right? That you’re too young?”
“Kris, don’t tell me you’re agreeing with him” I replied walking in the door.
“I’m not, but maybe we shouldn’t rush this, I mean, we haven’t known each other that long”
“You’re saying this now? So, you don‘t want to marry me?”
“No Julie, that’s not it!”
“Oh wow, I can not believe you’re telling me this now. Honestly”
“Don’t get mad at me, I want to marry you Julie”
“Oh ok, just not now, do you want your ring back too so you can propose to me properly?” I exclaimed taking the ring off, “Cause you can have the damn ring back”
“I’m not taking the ring Julie” he replied, “can you just relax, you’re blowing this way out of proportion”
“Don’t do that!”
“What!?”
“Agree with what he said!”
“He was right, look at us, we’re fighting over something ridiculous, we’re not ready to get married right now Julie, maybe soon…”
“Ok” I replied putting the ring in his hand, “that’s fine with me, you just let me know when you're ready”
“Don’t do that” he replied, “make me feel sorry for you, it’s not going to work”
“Ok” I replied.
“So what the engagement is off then?”
“I think you made that clear Kris” I sighed grabbing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, “I’m going to bed, feel free to sleep on the couch”
“How fun, our first fight” he said sarcastically as I slammed the door behind me.

That is the first time I have ever been mad at him. Why would he propose if he wasn’t ready to get married? I really don’t understand what goes on in the minds of men sometimes. This was all fine until my dad pipes up. Did he really have to say that? Did Kris really have to agree? I don’t know, now I feel like the one being the idiot in all this, what am I supposed to do?

Comments!

Ok...so...i have 23 followers and i am not getting many comments...the most i have on one is like four...so, please if you want this to keep going when I post the next chapter i am looking for 7 comments...that should not be an issue, if there is 23 people or more reading this. Please...thanks guys!

Hey peoplee:)

Don't know if anyone see's chapter 12 cause I had some of it written before I wrote the "Attention" post, it was a draft, so I don't know if any of you have read it or not, but it's thereee! I really would appreciate some comments on that chapterr at least, just so I know whether I should keep going :) Thanks guys!!

ATTENTIONN

Ok, here's the deal. I'm a litttlleee pissed. I mean I have 19 followers and I'm getting barely any feedback on this story....it makes me sad. And it's not only this story, I have other stories people...so please just give me some sort of feedback when you read the chapter, my bestie is doing the same thing...basically if you don't comment, you don't get anymore chapters, so give me some comments on my last chapter and the following chapter I started will be posted soon. So yah...oh and if you're wondering, my best frienddd is doing stories, if you haven't seen 'em...go now. link below XD

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Chapter 12

*ok so im completely stuck on this one, so beaarr with me. it's not my most stellar chapter. it's almost like a filler til i get something going with it. i want something original you know? so ya. but pleaseee comments would seriously mean the world to me. thanks guys!*

I was in complete shock. I kept looking down at my left hand, smiling every time. I was just sitting with Kris, I felt awful for not getting him a gift, i actually had no money at the moment, I have been paying off so many bills and just didn't get the chance to. He didn't care though...plus I think the best gift was me saying yes.

"I have to call my parents" I told him bouncing off the bed.

He just chuckled as I grabbed my phone. I dialled quickly and waited anxiusly for someone to pick up. Finally my dad did.

"Merry Christmas Daddy!" I said.
"Merry Christmas baby" he said.
"How is everything, I wish I could be there"
"Everything is wonderful. And I know you're busy but your gift will be here when you get here, don't worry" you could practically hear him smiling on the phone.
"Thanks dad" I smiled, "can I talk to mom?"
"Sure thing" he said. You could hear rustling as the phone moved around and then my mother's voice.
"Mom!" I said, "Merry Christmas"
"Merry Christmas sweetheart" she said, "how's Kris?"
"He's good" I said turning to look at him, "very good" I bit my lip. He just smirked at me.
"When do we get to meet him?" she said.
"Well, whenever we can get down, I mean Kris is leaving here tonight to be in Pittsburgh to leave for New York, then a road trip..he may not be back here until the New Year or after..."
"Well sweetie don't worry about it" she said, "whenever you guys can get down here is fine by me".
"Alright" I sighed again.
"Sweetie, it's ok" she reassured me, "it's what happens when you fall in love with someone in professional sports"

I just chuckled. It was true. Not easy at all seeing him come and go so often but it was necessary, and I'm so glad she understood.

"Thanks mom, I love you"
"I love you too, merry christmas"
"Merry christmas" I said and hung up.

I sat down next to him and sighed.

"You ok?" he asked.
"Yah, it sucks not being able to be there"
"Don't worry about it, we will get there, I promise" he said kissing my forehead.
I just smiled, "thanks Kris"
"Anything for you" he said.

All day we honestly didn't do a thing. We just sat in bed all afternoon, talked. I couldn't even think straight at the moment, everything was coming together so fast, it didn't make sense. I was so in love, and right now, this moment, I wanted it for the rest of my life.

"Well it's time" he said steppin off the bed.
"I'll miss you" I told him.
"I'll miss you too, but I should be back soon..wait--"
"What?" I said anxiously, "did you forget something". I started looking around the room.
"No" he said.
I looked back up, "what?"
"Come to Pittsburgh"
"What?"
"Jules, how often am I going to get down here other than a few road games and the summer. Come live with me. I mean, we will be getting married am I right? Why not start now?"
I just smiled and jumped off the bed into his arms, "I love you"
"I love you too" he said.
"I'll get a ticket and be up there tomorrow" I said kissing him.
"See you then" he said grabbing his stuff.

He walked out the door as I gave him a final quick kiss goodbye. Where the hell was I going to get money to buy a ticket to Pittsburgh?

Chapter 11

*Ok...I know it's freaking short, but...I'm completely stuck! I can't think of anything right now...for any of my stories and it makes me mad....cause I start school next week and writing will be limited...which makes me sad :( hopefully this block will unblock soonnnn. Anyways...enjoy...it's a happy moment XD. BTW I did not proofread...so sorry for mistakes, typos etc.*




I woke up the next morning and turned over to face Kris, still asleep. He truly was beautiful. I gently moved some hair out of his face. He wrinkled his nose but kept sleeping. I just lightly chuckled and sat up. I practically bounced out of bed. I was truly happy and literally could not picture my life with anyone but the man laying 5 feet away from me. My heart skips everytime he looks at me, I melt when he flashes his million dollar smile and I could get lost in those gorgeous dark eyes. Just thinking about him...makes me have to catch my breath. I would marry him this moment if I could.

He woke up and I kept my eyes on him.

"Hey baby" he smiled that smile.
"Morning" I simply replied, smiling back.
"Merry Christmas"
"Merry Christmas baby" I said reaching across the bed and locking my lips with his, but only for a moment.

I laid back against his chest and felt his warmth warm up my cold body. We were quiet, both lost in our thoughts. It was seriously a moment I will not forget. No words were spoken, but we went deeper than that. The silence meant everything, we knew how we felt...

He gently kissed my forehead and I took in his scent.

"I have a gift for you" he told me.
"Ok" I smiled.
"I was going to wait for our dinner tonight...but right now it just feels right"
"Ok?" I said in a questioning tone, I had no idea where he was going with this.

I saw him dig in his suitcase and pull out a small black box. My heart started beating like crazy when I got the idea...it couldn't be. He opened it, revealing a small ring with one single diamond in it, it was old fashioned...you could tell, but beautiful nontheless.

"Kris?" I said almost breathless.

He went the whole nine yards getting down on one knee...in his boxers, I swear I couldn't be more in love with him than I am right now.

"Right now? You haven't even met my family...I just met yours yesterday...Kris?"

I didn't even know what I was saying at that point, my eyes started to well up in tears and he looked like he was going to cry too, but he kept it in.

"Jules, you know how much I love you, I don't have to tell you that, but here's the thing...I know it's not the most glamourous proposal in the world, but this moment expresses everything I feel for you, especially last night. I can't see myself with anyone else in the world. You completely changed me...even if we haven't been "together" for that long...I know it's soon and I know it's sudden, but if there's no one else...what's the point in waiting? I'm ready...marry me"

He didn't ask...he told me to. How could I say no to him.

"Will you give me one second?" I said.
He raised an eyebrow and nodded.
I turned and silently shrieked...I couldn't believe this was happening.
"Yes" I said turning quickly, "I'll marry you"
A huge smile spread across his face as he stood up and slipped the ring on my finger, perfect fit.

"I love you" he said kissing me.
"I love you too Kris"

-----------------------------------------
If it's you and me forever, if it's you and me right now
That'd be alright, it'd be alright
If we chase the stars to lose our shadows
Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine
So won't you fly with me?
---------------------------------------------

Chapter 10

Kris and I arrived at his parents place and my hands were shaking and my heart was beating like crazy. Why was I acting like this? I mean...it's only his parents, how bad can it be?

We walked in the door and Kris' hand in mine finally stopped the shaking. He looked over at me and gently kissed my forehead. I started to feel better. But he then released my hand when someone came to him for a hug. Mom.

"Kristopher!" she said with a thick French accent.
He gave her a hug and smiled looking back at me.
"This is Julie" he said.
"Nice to meet you" she said giving me a hug. She seemed like a hugger.
"She's beautiful" I heard her whisper to Kris.
I just smirked and he gave me a quick wink.

Everything actually went really well. His family was amazing and we had a great dinner. As we left I got a few hugs and goodbyes. Kris finally dragged me out of their grasp.

"I told you" he said in a mocking tone.
I just chuckled, "they are really great"
"I know" he said proudly. I just lightly nudged him.
"Back to the hotel?" he asked.
"Sure" I replied.

We got in the car and headed back. I had nothing to say and it seemed he didn't either, so it was silent...most of the ride.

"Jules...we've been together a while...right?" he asked me.
"Well...I don't know. Technically it's been like...a month, but we've known each other for a couple years...well...kind of. Why babe?" I replied turning my head.

He didn't answer, he just shifted gears to slow down and stop at a red light.

"What's going on?"
"It's nothing" he said, "nothing important"
"Ok" I replied with a puzzled look.
I watched the green light bounce off his skin as shifted and kept driving. I was a tad bit confused.

We hadn't spoke anymore and finally arrived back at the hotel. I went in and collapsed on the bed, kicking off my shoes. looking up towards the ceiling. I felt the bed move and saw him sit up beside me.

"What's up?" I asked him still looking up.
"Nothing" he said, "tired"
"Me too" I sighed, sitting up.

He just looked over at me. I felt my face get a tad red, he's never looked at me like that before. He leaned in and gently kissed me. I didn't resist as he kissed me harder. I felt his hand cup the back of my neck and he pulled me in. I couldn't pull away, his kiss was literally addictive. We fell back on the bed without leaving each other's lips. My heart was racing, but I think it was finally time. He pulled my coat off and threw it on the ground. His lips moved down to my neck and I felt his hand run up my leg under my dress, and I didn't stop him. He kept kissing my neck and I reached for his shirt, I undid some buttons but he pulled it off himself.

"You're sure?" he whispered.
"Definitely" I said looking into his eyes.

That night, Kris showed me what it truly meant to be loved...

-------------------------------
Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
-----------------------------------

>.< annoying

ok...so here's the deal. my laptop is dead...and the new charger i just got is defective >.< so i am stuck using the family computer or my mom's laptop. which has none of my stories on it...cause for some of them i have chapters written...so it may not be til next week before i have any posts up. plus i am working a ton :( tomorrow will be 14 days in a row >.< not fun.....but anyways just thought i would let you guys know. if you read any of my other stories it's the same for them. i just thought i would post this on here cause it has the most followers. i will do the best i can to get them on here. just bear with me.

Thanks!!!

<3

hey peoples!

Hey guys! I speak much on this so I just thought I would leave a quick note for my followers!

Thanks so much for all the support! I don't know how you guys heard of this story but I'm really glad you're all fans! Don't forget to check out my other stories as well. Some are equally as good as this one, well...in my opinion anyways. So again thanks so much for following and I promise a new update on this one fairly soon, along with some other stories as well.

Thanks!

:)

Chapter 9

I woke up to see the vacant spot where Kris was laying. I sat up and looked around but no sign of him. I listened for a moment to hear the shower running and breathed a sigh of relief. I get so paranoid sometimes.

I sat up and looked at my phone. No messages. I stretched out while I heard the water stop running. I flipped through the channels finding nothing that interested me. I saw him come out and felt that goofy smile cross my face the moment he stepped out. He was shirtless with a towel wrapped around him.

His eyes met mine and they locked for a few seconds.

“What?” he smirked.
“Nothing” I smiled, “you know it’s Christmas Eve?”
“How could I not?” he smiled, “I’m excited to give you your gift”
“Ooh..NOW!” I said jumping up.
“You can wait” he insisted looking through his bag.
“Come on baby” I said with a pout.
“It’s hard to say no to that face” he said giving me a quick peck, “but no. But I do want you to meet my family”
“Whoa…already?”
“They will love you” he said wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Are you sure, I’m no good at this” I hesitated.

He just lightly kissed my forehead and I was sold.

“Ok” I sighed.
“Good” he smiled with a kiss on the cheek.
“When?”
“Tonight”
“Tonight!?”

He stopped in his tracks, “it’s Christmas Eve dinner”
“Alright” I sighed, “for you”
“Thank you”
“What if they don’t like me?” I asked him nervously.
“That doesn’t matter to me” he said, “I love you”

I just smiled. This guy was way too good to be true. But I will take it, because I have fallen for him, and nothing will ever change that.

I told him I had to get home and gave him a quick kiss, that turned into a passionate one. I slowly pulled back quickly left heading home where I met Ally…waiting.

“What?” I asked her shutting the door behind me.
“You could have called”
“Sorry…mom” I said with a smirk.

She just rolled her eyes and I laughed.

“So…details?” she hinted.
“It went really good” I said.
“That’s it?” she asked.
“If he was to propose now…I would say yes” I said, “that’s how in love I am. I couldn’t love anyone else Ally”

She just stared at me blankly.

“Wow those are serious feelings Jules” she replied.
“Well they’re real” I said sitting down.
“Well be sure” she said.
“I am” I simply said.

She just nodded and sat back with her laptop. I went to my bedroom and took a quick shower, and went straight to my closet. I looked around and grabbed a plain black dress with a red belt and put it on under my chest. I put on a pair of black leggings and a pair of black boots that sat just below my knees.

I blow dried my hair and let it wave out. I put on some light brown eye shadow, mascara, bronzer and some pale pink lipgloss. I heard a knock on the door and realized it was Kris.

“I’ll grab it!” Ally yelled from the other room.

I walked out making sure I had everything but I stopped in my tracks when I saw Kris. He was simply in a black dress shirt, dark jeans and black Puma sneakers. It was plain, simple, but he knew how to make it work…

“You look amazing” he smiled.
“Thanks, so do you” I replied feeling my face get hot.
“Ready to go” he asked offering his arm.
“Sure am” I said nervously taking it.
“They will love you” he whispered.
I took a deep breath, “ok”
“We gotta go” he said, “we’re already late”

I just laughed and looked up at him as he took me to the car.

“I love you” I said putting my hand on his cheek before getting in the car.
“I love you too” he said placing a small kiss on my lips.

I really did. With everything I had in me, from the bottom of my heart. I completely, whole heartedly loved Kris. And nothing was going to change that. Not a thing in this world…
___________________________________

I’m weak in the knees for you
But I’ll stand if you want me to
My legs are strong and I’ll move on
But honey I’m weak in the knees*
___________________________________

Chapter 8

I was a bit anxious, trying to figure out where we were going.

We ended up at a small restaurant, it was fancy, really fancy.

“You can afford this?” I said.
He just looked at me.
“Oh, right, didn’t clue in” I laughed, “but I don’t want you spending too much on me”
“I will spend whatever I want on you” he said.
“I just want to be with you, I don’t care about how much you spend”
“Fine” he sighed.
I just smiled.
“Well you’re easy to get along with” I laughed.
“I try to be” he shrugged and then flashed his smile my way, “come on”
He took my hand and led me to the table.

I wasn’t starving so I just ordered a salad. He of course was a bit hungrier than myself, ordering a steak and the whole nine yards. I just looked at him curiously as he handed the waiter the menu.

“What? I don’t come here often, I want this to be worth it” he said.
I just laughed, “I have to admit, this place is beautiful”
“Just like you” he said.
“Cheesy much?” I said chuckling.
“I can be cheesy, it was the perfect moment, I took it”

Not only did he crack a joke here and there to make me smile, but he was sweet, adorable, and not to mention amazing on the ice. This guy was everything I was looking for and more, I couldn’t believe he was mine.

“That was great” I said as we made our way out.
“Glad you liked it” he said.
I just smiled.
“Ok, well honestly, that’s about as good as it gets tonight” he said.
“It’s ok” I said, “we can do something back at my place”
“I was thinking more back at mine” he said.
“You’re hotel room?”
He just winked and I started laughing.
“I suppose, but seriously, no funny business”
“Fine” he sighed.
I just laughed.

We got to his hotel room and I sat on the bed.
“Aren’t you rooming with someone?” I asked looking up at him.
“Well…yes, but he’s out, I told him to stay out…”
“Kris!” I said laughing.
“Sorry, is it a crime that I want to spend a little time with my girlfriend?” he said mischievously.

I just smirked as I let his lips collide with mine. I slowly fell back on the bed without leaving his lips. His hand made its way up my leg and I pushed it back.

“Kris…I’m not doing this now” I told him, “I already said that”
He just sighed.
“I love you baby, but I’m just not ready…if that makes sense” I said.
“Perfectly” he said, “I suppose I can wait”
I just smiled and kissed him. “Ok…can I borrow some clothes?” I asked him, “I can’t stand this dress anymore”
He stood up and looked through his mess of clothes and tossed me a penguins t-shirt and shorts.
“Thank you” I said going to the bathroom.
I came out and both were huge and baggy on me, but they were so comfy.
“Nice” he laughed.
“Shut up” I said sticking my tongue out at him.
He just laughed as I curled up next to him on the bed.
“I know we didn’t do much, but I did have a good time tonight” I told him.
“I did too. Spending time with you, no matter where it is, is all I needed” he said.
I just smiled and kissed him.

He grabbed the remote while I laid my head on his lap facing the tv. He was searching through when I caught a glimpse of a movie.

“The Notebook!” I said jumping up and grabbing the remote, “we’re watching it”
“Not even going to argue” he laughed.
“Thank you” I said smiling proudly.

I laid back on his lap and watched the movie. About half way through I looked up to see Kris asleep. Typical man. Can’t even watch a chick flick. But then again he looks so cute when he’s sleeping. I sat up against the headboard and watched the rest, well just barely. I fell asleep just as it was ending.

When I woke up the tv was playing some weird foreign movie. I turned it off and looked at my phone and saw it was 3am. Ally had called once and texted me a few times cause she had no idea where I was. I replied back and assured her I was fine, and I fell asleep at the hotel. I turned over and Kris was still dead asleep, the same position he fell asleep in.

I gently took off his hat and tossed it onto the floor. His hair fell in his face and I brushed it away. I just smiled and lightly kissed his cheek. He shifted but didn’t wake up. I just chuckled and laid back down. I watched him sleep before I fell asleep myself.

Chapter 7

We spent the entire afternoon shopping, well it was more like trying stuff on but not buying it. We tried on dresses that were--well…let’s just say we couldn’t afford. It was a blast.

Kris texted me and I laughed as I texted him back.

“Excuse me?” she said holding up a cute white blouse.
“What?” I said.
“Do you like it?” she asked, “for the millionth time”
“I’m sorry” I said, “I got distracted”
“I can tell” she said setting it down.
“I’m sorry” I said again.
“It’s ok, I’d be the same way” she said nudging me.

I just laughed. “What’s he saying?” she asked.
“Nothing, he’s on his way back, we’re going out later”
“Well what am I supposed to do?” she muttered crossing her arms.
“Um…I don’t know” I replied, “you can chill at the apartment, keep shopping, you’ll figure something out”
“Fine” she sighed.
“It’s only a few hours” I said, “we technically haven’t really had a “date” yet” I said.
“Oh, well you could have said that” she said.
“Sorry” I laughed.
“Well, don’t you think we need to find you a cute outfit then?” she exclaimed.
“Ok” I simply said.
“Well let’s go!”

We shopped around and found nothing. I guess it needed to be perfect. Finally, our last stop, maybe something would come up.

I looked through some of the dresses and found the perfect one. A white short sleeved dress with black flowered patterns.
“Jules!” she said, “it’s cute, go try it on. Now!” she pushed me into the dressing room.

I put it on and looked in the mirror. I was a bit sceptical but came out to show Ally.

“It’s perfect!” she said, “you just need to dress it up a bit”
“With what?” I asked looking down at it.
“Well, a cute jacket of some kind” she said looking around.
I started looking when she came up with a cute black cropped jacket.
“Ok, I am going to freeze in that” I said.
She picked up a nearby scarf. “You’ll survive”.

I paid and drove back home.

“You ok?” she asked.
I was a bit spaced out, nervous to be honest.
“What?” I said stopping at a red light.
“You know it’s going to go well” she said, “I mean you’re both already in love with each other”
“Yah I know, I guess it’s just the whole idea of a “first date”” I said, “man, I sound like I’m 16”
“It’s normal” she said as the light changed, “you just need to relax, you know him, you love him, don’t make it harder than it needs to be”
“Thanks love” I said stopping at the apartment.
“It’s what I do” she said stepping out of the car.

I took a glance in the other direction and saw Kris’ car. “Oh, he’s here already”
“Does he have a key?” asked Ally.
“No, he doesn’t” I replied, almost to myself.

I went in and saw Kris sitting on the floor of the hallway in front of the door.
“What are you doing?” I laughed.
“Thought you were here” he said.
“Well, did you not clue in when my car wasn’t here?” I replied.
“Didn’t look” he shrugged.
“You would do that” I joked.
“Haha” he laughed sarcastically.

We went in and I set my stuff down.

“Whatcha buy?” he asked snooping.
“Not telling you” I said pulling the bag away, “it’s a surprise”
“For me?” he joked.
“Well, it’s just my outfit for dinner tonight”
“I see” he said.
He tried looking in the bag again.
“Kris!” I laughed grabbing the bag again.
“Sorry!” he put up his hands in defence.

I just laughed at him. “So what are we doing tonight?” I asked.
“Surprise” he simply said.
“Fine then” I huffed.
He just laughed.

Kris left and went to his hotel to change. I immediately took a quick shower and let my hair curl. I put on my dress along with a onyx bead necklace and a pair of black flats. I put on some eyeliner and mascara. A bit of blush and lip gloss.

“Too cute” she gushed.
I just laughed, “Thanks”.

I grabbed my jacket and scarf and Kris was just coming in.

“You look beautiful” he said.
“Thank you” I smiled, “you look pretty good yourself”.
He was in a pair of dark jeans an untucked dress shirt and a light jacket over it.
He just smiled.

“I’ll see you later Ally”
“You two have fun!” she said as we went out the door.

“So where are we going?” I asked.
“You’ll see” he said.
I just looked at him.

“Trust me” he said putting out his hand.

I smiled. I trusted him. I took his hand.

Chapter 6

It was Christmas time. Kris and I, were still working on things, honestly nothing was official yet. We knew being away from each other was going to be difficult. I just knew I was crazy about him.

I was at my apartment waiting for him to get here. I was really anxious, I hadn’t seen him in a while. This was going to be the last time he would see me for another two months, he had a break so he came to visit me.

As soon as he walked in the door, my heart skipped a beat. Everything about him made me weak. His eyes, the way he walked, talked, the way he said my name. There is just no way I could live without him.

I gave him a huge hug as he came in.

“You look beautiful” was the first thing he said.
I was in sweats and one of his old oversized t-shirts I never gave back to him.
I just laughed, “I missed you”
“I missed you too. But we need to talk”
“About what?” I asked. My heart sunk, I was thinking of everything negative that could come out of his mouth.
“Don’t worry” he said taking my quivering hand, “I think it’s time we talk about where our relationship is going. I know it’s a bit random, me just coming here and all, but I have been thinking a lot lately”.
“Yah me too” I replied with a sigh of relief.
“Jules, I want this to be me and you” he said.
“Me too” I smiled.
“Nobody else”
“I couldn’t have anyone else. And I know it‘s sounds cheesy, but I really could NOT love anyone else”
He just smiled and wrapped me in a huge hug.

I was one of the happiest women in the world at that moment. Nothing could burst my bubble.

I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Before I could grab a glass, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in. I just smiled as I turned to face him. I don’t know how someone like him could have possibly fell, well, for someone like me.

I rested my forehead against his. I stared at him, no words would come out. It was like my voice was trapped inside of my throat. Every time I looked into his eyes, my mind went blank.

I moved back and leaned against the wall, my eyes stayed on him. His eyes stayed on me. He was about a foot away from me at least. It was way too quiet. He moved closer and grabbed my hand. I inhaled a shaky breath as his eyes met mine again. I was freaking on the inside. He could tell something was wrong.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. I still couldn’t say a word. I tried to say something but it’s like everything was stuck. He finally, slowly, took another step towards me and had me between him and the wall. He stared deep into my eyes before placing a soft kiss on my lips. He was the only thing keeping me from falling over because of my nervousness.

“You need….to get going” I breathlessly said. It’s almost like he forgot everything that was going on.
“What?”.
“You told me you’re visiting family” I said chuckling, “get knocked in the head too many times?”.
He just chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist, “well, that wasn’t very nice”.
“Just joking” I laughed.
His face got serious again, “I love you Julie” he said just above a whisper.
“I love you too Kristopher” I replied.
His lips touched mine ever so gently but it didn’t last.
“You’re right, I better go” he said.
“Alright, call me later” I said.
“I will” he smiled and softly kissed me again, “bye”.

I sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. I turned it down to the lowest level, and grabbed my laptop. Just as I was turning it on, my phone rang.

“Al, hey” I answered.
“I have a surprise for you” she said, she sounded excited.
“Ok. What is it?” I asked curiously.
“Well, I need you to go to your door” she said.
“Ok?”
“Open it”
I was getting very confused. I opened the door and I saw my best friend standing there amidst a few travel bags.
“Ah!” I screamed jumping on her.
“What’s goin on!?” she said.
“Nothing! You flew in even though you’re crazy busy with work!?”
“I had to see you!” she said, “I missed you way too much”.
“Aw” I said hugging her again.
“Oh wow, I should probably help you inside” I laughed.

I grabbed a couple bags and dropped them inside the door.

“If I had known you were coming…I may have tidied up a bit” I said biting my lip.
“Don’t worry about it” she laughed, “we lived together remember?”
I just stuck my tongue out her as she sat on the couch.
“So, how’s it going with the French-Canadian boy?” she said smirking.
“Well, I’m more in love with him than I thought I could be, with anyone” I said sitting down.

She just smiled at me.

“What?” I said.
“I have news”
“Ok?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I was working late in the office a few weeks ago” she began, “I was coming down to the car and my hands were full. I could barely see anything in front of me and ran into someone. I kept apologizing and he kept saying it’s ok and helped me pick up my stuff. I finally looked up at him, and an immediate connection, two blue-grey eyes stared right at me, Brooks Orpik”
I squealed.
“Let me finish” she said, “he started to apologize and helped me stand up. He offered to take some things and walked me to my car. A few days ago we met again and he gave me his number and asked me out to dinner before the game the next day. I, of course, agreed, and well, here we are”
“Aw, that’s so cute!” I smiled.
“I thought so” she said shrugging a shoulder and smiling.
“I’m happy for you”
“Thanks” she smiled, “so where is you’re love?”
“Visiting family” I said, “he will be back tonight”
“Cool, did you want to do something?” she asked.
“Sure” I said smiling, “let me change”

I changed into a pair of ripped jeans, a vintage, black, Beatles t-shirt and a pair of flip flops. I left my hair and put on some blush and lip gloss. I grabbed my coat and scarf.

“Shopping?” she simply said.
“Yes, let’s” I said linking arms.

Chapter 5

I got a job working as an assistant medic for the Montreal Canadiens. I’ve been here for the rest of last season and through three months of this season. I really like it here. I haven’t seen Kris since that day at his apartment. We kept in touch but it eventually faded away.

I sat in my apartment taking another quick look at the schedule. The Penguins were in town, my stomach got knots. His face ran through my mind again. The kiss in the dressing room flooded my mind. I was doing just fine, seeing him again…?

I was at the rink that morning getting ready for the afternoon game. The Penguins were using it for a morning skate. I looked quickly but couldn’t spot Kris. I shrugged it off and made my way to the other dressing room. I felt my phone vibrate as I was on my way. I had a text from Ally. I was responding back as I ran into someone’s chest. I looked up and saw I was looking into very familiar eyes, Kris. I backed up immediately.

“Kris…” I quietly said.
“Jules…” he said.
“I didn’t expect to see you, well I guess I expected to see you, but I didn’t expect to be this close…I mean…I’m going to stop now”
He just laughed, “I didn’t know you were with Montreal now”
“Yah” I simply said.

It was silent. Just being near him, even after all this time, drove me to distraction. Everything inside of me was screaming for him, but nothing would come out. I was still in love with him.

“Kris, I--” I was cut off by his coach yelling for him to get going.
“Maybe I will talk to you after” I said walking by him.
Our arms gently brushed as I passed him. Even if it was subtle as that, he still gave me goosebumps. I turned around to say something but he was already gone. I just sighed as I got to the dressing room.

Montreal won the game 5-2, the Penguins didn’t play very well. There were no injuries to report which is the good thing. I packed up my stuff as I got ready to head home. I always tended to be the last one out of there. Surprisingly, so did Kris.

“Oh, hi” I said passing him.

He just smiled at me. No words. I just sighed and kept walking. All of a sudden I heard something hit the floor and his hand grab my arm.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

He didn’t say anything he just gently pushed me against the wall.

As much as I was in love with him, everything was telling me not to go there. Until his lips touched mine. I’ve kissed him before, but this time it was different, this kiss was going to change everything. He pulled back leaving me wanting more.

“So?” I said.
“So…” he said.

I love you, you idiot, from the moment I laid eyes on you, and even now, I still do, even after nine months you still make me weak in the knees

I could have said it, but I didn’t, nothing was coming out.

“Jules?” he said.
I did all that I had the energy to do, I grabbed his face and kissed him. As my arms wrapped around his neck, I couldn’t let go, but he eventually did.
“Wow” he said.
“Kris, I love you” I said quickly.
He just stared. My mind raced with possible things that he may say next. I was terrified.
Then he inhaled. “I’ve been denying it for so long, when I kissed you in the dressing room, I was already falling, I constantly told myself, after seeing Jenny everyday that it meant nothing. But something finally snapped inside me and I couldn’t deny it any longer. But for some reason I couldn’t tell you, but Jules, I love you”
I was frozen. Trying to process the words that just came out of his mouth. Finally I said something.
“Wow. That was definitely not the response I was expecting” I said.
He just smirked, “so what now?”.
“I don’t care, as long as I finally have you”
He just smiled and gently kissed me.

Finally, he was in my arms and I didn’t have to worry about anyone or anything keeping us apart. Now, rather than dark and gray, my life was color again.

Chapter 4

I went home and got straight into bed. I turned on the tv to get my mind off of everything, but I couldn’t find anything. Everything reminded me of him, or of hockey, or of medicine, which all led me back to him. The worst of it was I was probably the last thing on his mind.

I woke up the next morning from a night of about four hours of sleep. I didn’t bother eating, I wasn’t hungry. Everything just seemed to be dark and grey, nothing exciting was going on.

“Jules?” Ally asked.
“Yes?” I said looking up from my laptop.
“I think you need to talk to him”
“Don’t start” I said looking back to my computer.
“If you can barely be near him why are you still working there?”
“I’m leaving after the season, I’m sure I could find another job somewhere”
She just sighed.
“I know what I’m doing” I said.

The next day they had an afternoon game against Philadelphia. Kris wasn’t playing, obviously, he was out for a couple weeks at least, I knew it would kill him not to be out there.

The game went well, they won 4-2. I occasionally would look up to the box and see Kris sitting there. I knew I had to talk to him, I needed some questions answered.

I finished up and went to clean myself up. I walked out of the washroom and down the hall to see Kris standing in the doorway of the dressing room, like he was waiting for me.

“We need to talk” I said.
“Yah I know” he replied.
“Where does this all leave us?” I asked
He just shrugged.
I just sighed. “Do you have any feelings for me at all?” I asked.
“No” he quickly said.

My heart sunk at that very moment.

“Then why did you kiss me?” I asked quietly.
“It was in the moment” he said.
“So no feelings at all?” I said.
He just shook his head.
“Julie, I have a girlfriend” he said.

My heart sank as far as it could sink.

“Well I guess that settles it then” I said, “Maybe I should just leave now”
“You’re leaving?” he asked.
“Kris, you know as well as I do I can’t stay here”
“You don’t have to leave, I mean, we can just keep our distance or be --”
“Don’t say friends” I said, “I can barely be near you”
“Why?” he asked, he sounded frustrated.
“Because I love you, but yet I know nothing about you” I said.
“Love?” he said quietly.
“See?”
“But…”
“Don’t bother, it may hurt to leave, but it doesn’t hurt near as much sitting here wondering whether I can ever be yours”
“Julie, I --”
“Kris! You comin or what?!” I heard Jordan Staal yell from around the corner.
“In a minute!” he yelled, still frustrated. He kept his eyes on me.
“You know what? Go. I’m not waiting for you anymore. You have someone, and I’m leaving, plus, you don’t feel the same way, you made that clear. Good luck Kris. I hope everything works out with your girlfriend and you’re career”
I started to walk away when I heard him say my name.
“Julie!” he said.
I hesitated and turned around and just looked at him.
“I’ll miss you”
I gently sighed and nodded once.

I went and told who needed to be told that I had to get out of this job now. Not in two weeks, now.

A couple days later I had all my things packed up and I was out of there. As I came out of the arena I saw Kris. I walked by him slowly without looking at him. I felt him watch me all the way to my car.

I climbed in and watched as he quickly ran over. I put down my window.

“What?” I asked.
“Come with me” he asked.
“You know I can’t”
“You don’t work for them anymore, you can”
“Kris, you have someone, you know I can’t”
“What if I told you I was leaving her”
“Not because of me?” I asked in shock.
“No, it’s not because of you” he laughed, “It’s because of me”
I just sighed, “no funny business”

We hung out and talked all night. I learned so much about him, so much I never knew before. I’m pretty sure I fell more in love with him then ever, but something still didn’t feel right.

I woke up on his couch and he was asleep on the chair. I threw a pillow at him and he jumped up. I just laughed.

“Thanks” he laughed.
“You’re welcome” I smiled proudly.
He threw a pillow back.
“You did not just do that” I said.
“What if I did?” he asked.
I threw it back to him.
“This is childish” I said getting up.
I saw him smirk as I went into the kitchen. I felt the pillow hit my back and then two hands grab my sides. I screamed and jumped to face him. “Not cool!” I said.
He just laughed as I stuck my tongue out at him.



I sighed as I looked at the time.
“I need to go” I said grabbing my stuff.
He just looked down.
“So this is goodbye?” he asked.
“Yah” I said.
“Where are you headed?” he asked.
“I don’t know, wherever I can”
“Well, I hope to see you again soon”
“Keep in touch?” I said writing down my number.
He looked down at it. “Definitely”.

I opened the door and turned around.
“See you around” I smiled.
He nodded.
I went to shut the door behind me when he stopped me.
“What?” I said.
He just looked at me and smiled.
“What?” I said again.
“I’m going to miss you. Standing behind me on the bench, staring”
I just felt my face get red.
“I never stared” I said scoffing.
He just looked at me and I laughed.
“Maybe some” I said. He just smirked.
“Bye Kris”
He put his hands on my cheeks and I put my hand on his. He gently kissed my forehead.
“Bye Jules”
I just inhaled slowly and nodded.

When I heard the door shut behind me my eyes welled up with tears. I was kicking myself for not going back, but I knew I couldn’t. The two of us would never work out. I am going to be leaving Pittsburgh, going who knows where, he would be all over the place and so would I, what’s the point? But leaving him, hurt more, I actually felt my heart breaking.

Chapter 3

We left early that morning and made our way to Raleigh for a game against Carolina. It still felt really awkward every time I was near him. I didn’t know what to do anymore. There was still half a season left, and I was going to see him every day.

We hadn’t talked too much lately, maybe a hi here, a smile there, nothing major. But it hurt, it hurt way too much.

The Penguins lost in overtime, but it didn’t really matter to me. I just needed to get away from the team and work, if only for a couple days. We were heading back to Pittsburgh for a few home games, but there was a few days of break in between. I said I was going to let the main medic be around and go home.

I went in the door and saw Ally. She just sighed as I came in.

“Don’t start with me” I said.
“You’re hurting yourself love” she said.
“I’ll be fine” I replied.
“Just be careful, and remember I’m here”
“I know”
I went straight to bed, I was exhausted.

The next couple days I was doing better but was still not looking forward to seeing him. Ally was coming to the game tonight, to see this for herself.

I was standing behind the bench and I caught a glimpse of Ally and just smirked. She kept making me laugh and everyone kept looking at me. I texted her to stop and she just smirked at me.

The game started and it was going pretty good. No injuries to report. After two periods, they were up by two. Kris was playing really well, and I was starting to feel a bit better around him, especially knowing I was going to be around him for a while.

The third period was going well until right in front of the bench, there was a collision, a major one, and Kris was involved. I freaked when he wasn’t getting up. Finally after what felt like hours he just barely got up on his own. He came to the bench and I watched as he went by me. I clued in and followed after them.

“Kris, are you ok?” I asked him.
“It’s my shoulder” he said.
“I think it’s dislocated” said the medic behind me.
He pushed it back in and I saw Kris wince in pain.
He left me with Kris while he went back out.
“I’m sorry” I said.
“Not your fault” he said.
“Um, you are going to have to take off your shirt” I said looking down.
When I saw his bare stomach I almost stopped breathing. I don’t know why they left me with him and not the medic.
I looked at his shoulder and gently touched his arm. When I did this I saw him get goosebumps. I didn’t say a word and did what I was supposed to do.
“Um, your good” I said backing off.
He grabbed his shirt with his other hand and realized he was not going to get that on himself. I helped him get his other arm in and get it over his head.
“Sorry” he said.
“Not your fault” I said.
As he got it over his head our faces were not too far apart. I stared at him and he stared back. It’s like it was all going in slow motion.

“I need to go” I said moving back.
“Wait” he said.
He grabbed me, pulled me in, and in one quick motion, he kissed me. I didn’t want it to end but I pulled back.
“Kris you know I can’t, I’m sorry” I said moving back, “I’ll get someone else in here”
He didn’t say a word as I left the room.

I went out and saw Ally waiting for me. I felt like I wanted to cry but kept it in, I think she could tell.
“What’s going on?” she asked, “You look like you’re going to cry”
“I’m ok” I said sniffling.
“Jules” she said.
“Kris kissed me” I said. Then tears started to come out.
“So it was him this time?” she said.
“Yah”
“Well, maybe you should tell him how you feel”
“I could lose my job” I said, “we can’t be together under any circumstances, cause it gets personal”
“Maybe it’s worth it”
I just sighed. “I don’t know anymore”

____________________________

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
____________________________________

Chapter 2

The game against the Rangers was the same as any other game. I did my job like I always did and well, it was the same as always. Until the unexpected happened, Letang got a major high stick, just above the eye. The period was almost over so I was told to take him back and stitch him up.

“You ok?” I asked as I sat him down.
“I’m fine” he replied.
I just sighed and didn’t say a word. I grabbed my stuff and started to stitch him up.
“So how long have you been around here?” he asked.
“Um, since last year” I said, “When you started playing here”.
“Really?” he asked.
“Yah, really” I chuckled.

I finished stitching him up. As I leaned back I made eye contact with him and I swear there was this intense energy between us, I am pretty sure he felt it too. Two seconds later I pressed my lips on his. It lasted only a couple seconds but it felt longer. I pulled back and clued in to what just happened.

“Whoa, sorry” I said stepping back.
“Um, I better get ready for next period” he said avoiding the subject. Then we heard the second period ending.
I just nodded “Yes” as he got up and walked the other way.

I cleaned myself up constantly rewinding in my mind what I just did. I just kissed Kris Letang! I have never even spoken to the guy. What was I thinking? I just hope this doesn’t ruin anything, especially for him.

During the third period nothing major happened. One thing though was every time Letang would come back to the bench after a shift he would avoid making eye contact with me. I ruined everything. As if it wasn’t bad enough.

I sighed as the game ended. They won, so they were all pretty happy. I went into the dressing room and saw Letang, I did the best I could to keep my distance, but it was impossible. He came to me.

“Oh, hi” I said keeping my head down.
“About earlier, can we forget it happened?” he said.
“I guess” I said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me”
“Let’s just forget it happened and start over”
“Start over?” I asked looking up. I couldn’t understand how any man could be so beautiful.
“I’m Kris, and you are?” he said putting out his hand.
I just chuckled. “Julie”.
“Nice to meet you Julie” he said.
“You too”
“Well I suppose I will see you around”
“See ya later”

I just sighed and grabbed my stuff. I made my way back to the hotel room and sat on my bed. I texted Ally what happened and she couldn’t believe it. Then I told her it meant nothing to him. She just told me not to worry about it, if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. I agreed and told her I was going to bed.

I changed into a pair of sweats and a Penguins t-shirt. I climbed into bed and turned on the tv. There was nothing on and I got bored and turned it off. After a while I couldn’t sleep. I got up, put on a hoodie and took a walk down to the lobby. I sat outside and let my thoughts run. I couldn’t stop thinking about that moment. The kiss itself, the feeling, my heart pounding. I couldn’t get it or him out of my mind. Speak of the devil…he just came out.

He stood there with his hands in his pockets. He looked better than ever. His hair fell in his face in all the right places. Just him standing there practically took my breath away. I inhaled a shaky breath as I finally took my eyes off of him. He looked over and saw me.

“Julie?” he said.
“Couldn’t sleep” I simply said.
“I know the feeling”
“I should probably get back” I said standing up.
He hesitated. “Ok”.
I just half smiled and walked in the door.

I got on the elevator and started to ball. I was in love with him and he was never going to know. I honestly don’t understand how I let myself get into this mess. How was I supposed to face him without my heart skipping a beat. How was I supposed to walk by him and not stare? Can’t he tell I can’t breathe when I'm near him?

****
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
****

Chapter 1

I took my spot behind the bench for another game. It was like every other day. I was an assistant medic for the Pittsburgh Penguins. I was only 21, I was gaining experience for the future. It was one of the best jobs I have had. I loved it here.

There was one thing I forgot to mention. I saw players constantly, and I was told I couldn’t date any of them, it was a rule. It was fine with me, until last year, when a new player came in, a French-Canadian defenceman by the name of Kristopher Letang. From the moment I saw him with my own two eyes, I have fallen head over heels. But here’s the thing, he barely knows I exist.

After another home game, against the Washington Capitals, which the Penguins won, I watched as they stepped off the ice. I smiled as Letang went by. He just looked over at me then back in front of him. I just sighed as another day ended.

When I arrived home to my 2 bedroom apartment in Pittsburgh, I saw Ally, my best friend, lying on the couch watching the Canucks late game.

“I saw the game” she said.
“Yah, it was a good one” I replied taking off my Penguins jacket.
She just sighed.“Why are you doing this to yourself?”
“You know what? The season is almost over, and when it is, I will be leaving Pittsburgh” I said.
She just shook her head and sat up. “I’m not going to say a word”.

The team was travelling to New York early in the morning so I was in bed pretty quick. I was up by three. It was basically a nap. I took a very quick shower and grabbed a pair of skinny jeans, black hoodie, flats and left my hair as it was. I grabbed my already packed bag and left quietly out the door.

The plane ride was agonizing. I hated flying with a passion. Even though I have been back and forth on them for quite a long time. We finally got into New York and I texted Ally to let her know I was here. We texted back and forth for a while. I decided to go grab something out of one of the vending machines in the hotel. I went down the hall, texting Ally. I wasn’t paying attention and ran into someone. I looked up and saw the darkest eyes, the most amazing eyes, they belonged to Kristopher Letang.

“Damn, sorry” I said.
“It’s ok” he smiled walking by.

I stood there watching him until he was out of sight. When his eyes met mine in that hallway, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. I texted Ally, and it didn’t seem like she was too interested. I just sighed as I sat down on my bed back in my room. “Still he feels nothing” I said to myself.

||I'm in and out of love with you
Trying to find if its really true
I can't stop the rain from falling
I can't stop my heart from calling you
Please Be Mine||