Chapter 3

We left early that morning and made our way to Raleigh for a game against Carolina. It still felt really awkward every time I was near him. I didn’t know what to do anymore. There was still half a season left, and I was going to see him every day.

We hadn’t talked too much lately, maybe a hi here, a smile there, nothing major. But it hurt, it hurt way too much.

The Penguins lost in overtime, but it didn’t really matter to me. I just needed to get away from the team and work, if only for a couple days. We were heading back to Pittsburgh for a few home games, but there was a few days of break in between. I said I was going to let the main medic be around and go home.

I went in the door and saw Ally. She just sighed as I came in.

“Don’t start with me” I said.
“You’re hurting yourself love” she said.
“I’ll be fine” I replied.
“Just be careful, and remember I’m here”
“I know”
I went straight to bed, I was exhausted.

The next couple days I was doing better but was still not looking forward to seeing him. Ally was coming to the game tonight, to see this for herself.

I was standing behind the bench and I caught a glimpse of Ally and just smirked. She kept making me laugh and everyone kept looking at me. I texted her to stop and she just smirked at me.

The game started and it was going pretty good. No injuries to report. After two periods, they were up by two. Kris was playing really well, and I was starting to feel a bit better around him, especially knowing I was going to be around him for a while.

The third period was going well until right in front of the bench, there was a collision, a major one, and Kris was involved. I freaked when he wasn’t getting up. Finally after what felt like hours he just barely got up on his own. He came to the bench and I watched as he went by me. I clued in and followed after them.

“Kris, are you ok?” I asked him.
“It’s my shoulder” he said.
“I think it’s dislocated” said the medic behind me.
He pushed it back in and I saw Kris wince in pain.
He left me with Kris while he went back out.
“I’m sorry” I said.
“Not your fault” he said.
“Um, you are going to have to take off your shirt” I said looking down.
When I saw his bare stomach I almost stopped breathing. I don’t know why they left me with him and not the medic.
I looked at his shoulder and gently touched his arm. When I did this I saw him get goosebumps. I didn’t say a word and did what I was supposed to do.
“Um, your good” I said backing off.
He grabbed his shirt with his other hand and realized he was not going to get that on himself. I helped him get his other arm in and get it over his head.
“Sorry” he said.
“Not your fault” I said.
As he got it over his head our faces were not too far apart. I stared at him and he stared back. It’s like it was all going in slow motion.

“I need to go” I said moving back.
“Wait” he said.
He grabbed me, pulled me in, and in one quick motion, he kissed me. I didn’t want it to end but I pulled back.
“Kris you know I can’t, I’m sorry” I said moving back, “I’ll get someone else in here”
He didn’t say a word as I left the room.

I went out and saw Ally waiting for me. I felt like I wanted to cry but kept it in, I think she could tell.
“What’s going on?” she asked, “You look like you’re going to cry”
“I’m ok” I said sniffling.
“Jules” she said.
“Kris kissed me” I said. Then tears started to come out.
“So it was him this time?” she said.
“Yah”
“Well, maybe you should tell him how you feel”
“I could lose my job” I said, “we can’t be together under any circumstances, cause it gets personal”
“Maybe it’s worth it”
I just sighed. “I don’t know anymore”

____________________________

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
____________________________________